She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
