Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
