..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I still have a little drunk in my system
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
