I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
