The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
