she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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