I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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