TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
