shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
