apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found a bag of teeth...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
And then he peed in my hair
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