when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
