My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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