She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
