How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He felt like a one man threesome
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
