So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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