Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?