Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
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jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
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He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica