Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?