never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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