Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(276): View more from Virginia

Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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(678): View more from Georgia

Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

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(647): View more from Ontario

it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(563): View more from Iowa

I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.

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(317): View more from Indiana

She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean

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(831): View more from California

Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"

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(775): View more from Nevada

We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together

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