Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize