I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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