It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think my mom watched the whole time
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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