if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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