hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
