erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
