Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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