no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
false alarm. still invincible.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
