He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize