We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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