Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
