Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
