my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
