We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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