WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
