He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hippo gnu deer
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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