Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
