I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I touched a dick in church today
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
