the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
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I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
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We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize