glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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