He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
