they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
high people should be assigned attendants
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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