another moral hangover. fuck.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
