i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
