can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
