"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
