cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize