Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
