I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize