drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
