just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
