You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
