you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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