apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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