I am midnight drunk by noon
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize