Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
