ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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