My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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