I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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