listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
