the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just had sex on a roof
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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