I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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