evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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