I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
