So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
