More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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