I accidentally burped into my bong.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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