I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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