I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
