just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Bring me that man meat
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The power of my boobs compel you
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
